intro to drinking, my style

Topic taken from a co-worker who innocently offered it as a reaction to the stuff I buy, being generally beer, typically Belgium, usually special editions, and often wrapped in paper or adorned with congratulatory tags; I liked her approach, whether she cares for mine or not.

If you’re reading someone’s opinion about anything you intend to place in your mouth, you should get to know them–their preferences, their personal profile–in an inimitable kind of way, without hoping to frame it on a numerical basis. Ratings are for the same people who believe a razor is better with more blades, or perhaps because it sounds like some feature found on a souped-up car. Don’t believe the hype!

First, and pretty importantly, I don’t smoke. Not recreationally, not cigars, nada. I like my drugs to not interfere with my sense of smell, please and thank you.

No less importantly though: I prefer BITTER to sweet, and SOUR to salty. There are exceptions, but daily I eat dark chocolate in the 80-90% range, gorge myself of walnuts, and I take espresso without sugar; plus I love fermented foods. This is going to produce quite a slant to what I try and how well I like it. If you like candied raisins covered in hershey’s cocoa, pumpkin spice lattes, or peppermint patties, you and I are rarely going to party. Sweet pour moi is a macadamia nut. Or a Tripel.

Finally: I have a nose. Not a terrible, tiny, upturned vestigial button centered above a cupid’s bow, but a real Old World nose. I can smell a cigarette from another car with my windows up, if the “recirculate” button isn’t depressed on mine whether I am running the climate control or not. Movie theaters, churches and classrooms are terrible places I avoid at all costs. For various reasons, I guess.

N.B. I pull references from strange places.

When presented with a snifter of Laphroaig, I said it reminded me of dirty socks, a bag of balloons, and that white paste we used in grade school.

Wrapped in ball of peat moss by a dung beetle.

My descriptions might just be as distinctive as my drinks.


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